Miss Puerto Rico's Debut!
by Kuro Shiro Kami Chan
Summary: Introducing Miss Puerto Rico. Let's all learn about her history in a fun effective way that involves Spain, America, France and a few others! Oh boy! She's my origanal character, so please be nice! If I can find a way to list Puerto Rico as character 2, that'd be great...
1. Mi Amigo Spain!

**Miss Puerto Rico's Debut!**

**I like Hetalia and have learned a lot of history as well of some French, German and Japanese from it… I made 2 characters myself named Mexico and Puerto Rico…**

**Mexico appeared in The World At The Bar, one of my stories. I would describe him as a hard working boy whose stronger than he looks. He has a like/hate relationship with America due to illegal immigration, drugs and other harsh stereotypes. He likes Mariachi music and frequently dresses up at one. His favorite food is boritos.**

**Puerto Rico is a "spicy" Hispanic woman who enjoys cooking and taking care of children. I based her off of the loco latinos who raised me… Especially my grandmother… She's very spicy. Miss Puerto Rico has a good relationship with America, a love/hate relationship with Mexico and a deep harted for the Dominican Republic. She was originally going to appear briefly in "The World At The Bar", but last minute I decided not to. This story is all about my character Puerto Rico and her history! WAHOO!**

Chapter 1: Mi Amigo Spain!

She stood in her hut made of wood and metal as the ocean breeze filled the room. Every day was like this, when not working on the farm, she rested in bed after a long day of cooking, cleaning and watching over the other children on the the island. However, it all changed when a big boat came to port… "Ai caramba!" She shouted, looking at Spain and his men as they got off the ship and walked on the sand.

**Christopher Columbus was credited for discovering Puerto Rico. Shortly after, countries like Spain starting colonizing… Poor Puerto Rico must be so confused… How would you feel if strange men with tight pants and big hats started coming to your house, claiming it as their territory?**

"My name is Spain. I'm going to set up a few ports and make my own settlements on your land!" Spain shouted, extending his hand to the tan woman, who played with her long black hair. "It's really nice to meet you!"

"Si…" She said simply, not bothering to shake his hands, and thinking of how the children watching were feeling.

"That's it, because you're coasts and ports are so rich, you're name will be Puerto Rico. You like that idea?"

"Si… Su nombre es…?"

"I told you my name is Spain!"

**The time of colonization in the New Worlds were really exciting for the European nations… This occurred when Marco Polo went on his journey and wrote about them. Most of the countries wanted to get into the spice trade, but some of them also wanted money, to spread religion and to gain more land. During the same time Puerto Rico was being colonized, so was America. The aspect of making it rich excited the European nations and so a lot of people migrated to these new worlds and settled down.**

"Su nombre es…?" Puerto Rico asked, looking at France's fancy clothes. "Aiyaiyai…"

"This place is full of potencial. I'm here to colonize of course. So your name is Puerto Rico? I am France." He kissed her hand, making Spain rush over to help her.

"Back off of Puerto Rico!" Spain shouted, taking her and pushing her aside.

"Oh well, I guess I'll have to take her and make her my French territory by force!" France ran off, planning to burn San German, Guánica, Dauguo and all of the other first settlements.

"Que el hombre es loco." Puerto Rico went home to her small hut to prepare her favorite meal: aros con poyo!

"Don't worry Puerto Rico, I'll defend you! I'm right here if you need me!"

**Even though the other countries wanted her, Spain seemed the most determined to protect her… Aw… She ain't gonna settle well with the Spamano fans, I know it. But this is actual history my friends! Because Spain was determined to protect his new amiga and fortified San Juan. Fortification started near the entrence of the San Juan bay called La Fortaleza, can you believe this all happened in the 16****th**** century? Is Spain an over protective friend, or crazy stalker? You decide! Puerto Rico didn't really care much as colonization continued. She just continued eating aros con poyo and sleeping while Spain did most of the work. ****Even when San Juan was set ablaze by English privateer Sir Francis Drake in 1595, their attempts failed because of the trenches in the area. Spain must really care about this little one, huh? She's no Romano, but he certainly does care… What will happen when the English start coming over?**

**I do hope you like Puerto Rico… She might seem kind of 1-dimensional now, but this chapter only focused on her relationship with Spain! Please rate and review, I'll be back with more!**

**Translations:**

**Su nombre es? – Your name is?**

**Aros con Poyo – Rice and Chicken (repectively, although in English, you'd call it chicken and rice)**

**La Fortaleza – The Fortress**

**Mi Amigo Spain – My friend Spain**

**Ai Caramba – (in this authors experience living in a Spanish and English speaking household, this can be translated to "oh my goodness")**

**Que el homres es loco – That man is crazy**


	2. Inglaterra me está utilizando

Chapter 2: Inglaterra me está utilizando, ¿no es así?

**In 1607, Puerto Rico's ports were being used to dock English ships on their way to America. The Godspeed, Susan Constant and the Discovery, were some of the ships that were docked.**

"Hola, como estas?" She asked, looking at the gentleman with the thick eye brows. "Mi nombre es Puerto Rico."

"Ah I see… Rich coasts, ocean for miles… It certainly is a fitting name, don't you think?" Britain asked. "I'm the United Kingdom."

"Si…" She said, munching on rice and beans. "Why do you dock your boats here?"

"Oh, you can speak English after all! What a relief!" Britain shouted. "Well I'm on my way to America, but we need to dock our ships here for repairs and to stock up on supplies. Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you. I'm after a bigger goal."

"What is this America place you speak of?"

"It's the new world, I'm going to colonize it and make it my own!"

"I see… I've been stuck on this island for as long as I can remember. When Spain came along , all the native people slowly disappeared… I wonder why he's so crazy…"

"Well it's simple, he's using you for his own gain! It's the same with that frog France too!" Britain shouted. "I heard he tried burning down your fort…"

"Si, San Juan was set on fire, but Spain has been helping me out a lot, so nothing was completely destroyed… España debe ser un acosador." She sighed, running out of rice. She walked back to her hut, going to wash the bowl and get some water to drink.

"Hey wait, we both have a hatred for France, right?" Britain shouted as she walked away.

"Adios amigo!" Was her only response as she went home.

**England only docked his ships in Puerto Rico on the way to Virginia, where he would colonize Jamestown, which was the first settlement. England didn't attack Puerto Rico until 1702 when he attacked Arecibo, in the north coast west of San Juan however their attacks failed. A years after that, in 1797 France and Spain teamed up to kick Britain's ass because he wouldn't give up on Puerto Rico.**

"Mon ami, do not worry, we're going to help you!" France shouted, riving the tan girl a red rose.

"Gracias…" She put it in her hair as she ran off to play with the neighborhood kids.

"No wonder you like her so much Spain, she's very cute. Perhaps it's some kind of latin mystique only she possesses?" France asked, watching her play with the children.

"Yeah, she's still not very strong so she needs help. I taught her almost everything she knows!" Spain said, boiling water for the rice. "Hey France, can you get the machete in the backyard?"

"Sure, but may I ask why?"

"I'm going to kill the fat pig out back so she can have some pork instead of always eating chicken and beans with her rice."

"Did you just say kill?"

Everything came to a stop when Puerto Rico screamed in terror. The kids from the town ran away in fear, rushing back to their parents house. France hurried to get Spain's machete and upon finding the latin beauty, Britain was holding her by her long hair.

"I'm going to conquer you whether you like it or not!" He shouted.

"España me ayude!" She shouted, relieved to see Spain and France.

"Oh no you don't!" Spain shouted, determined to stab Britain for hurting his little colony.

**Britain tried to attack Puerto Rico in San Juan with an army of 7,000 and an armada of 64 warships under the command of Ralph Abercromby. However he lost once again when ****Ramón de Castro successfully resisted the attack.**

**Second chapter, yey! I wonder if France and Spain know that the shorter latinas are, the crazier they tend to be… Is craziness more concentrated when you're just above dwarf status? Well this seems to be going well…**

**Translations:**

**Hold, como estas? = Hello, how are you?**

**Mi nombre es – My name is (insert your name here)**

**Inglaterra****me está****utilizando,****¿no es así****? – ****England is using me, isn't he?**


	3. America Can Be A Bully

**Chapter 3: America Can Be a Bully**

**In 1889, America (by now, he gained his independence from Britain) came to Puerto Rico. After the Treaty of France was ratified, Puerto Rico came under the control of America's military. America made a lot of changes to her, replacing her currency of pesos with U.S. dollars and forcing her to change her name to Porto Rico. Poor girl… This is worse than an arranged marriage…**

"Why do you have to be so mean?" She started crying, thinking of Spain. She thought about how France and England tried to use her for her land and how compared to America, their attempts were nothing.

"Well I'm the hero!" America shouted. "Besides, Porto Rico is easier to spell!"

"Don't talk to me like you know me you puta!"

"Just relax already. You're under my control now, so let's get along!" He tried to shake her hand but instead she kicked him in the balls.

"I hate you!" She shouted, running back to her hut where she planned on hiding until America went away.

"What's her problem? I'm just trying to make things better for her…" America stopped to think. "I know, I'll get the U.S. Postal Service involved. Then I'll bring her some schools and pass some new working laws! That's such a great idea!"

**America started public schools in Porto Rico (as he called it). He passed 8-hour laws for employes on the island and gave her freedom of press, speech, religion and assembly. I guess it wasn't all that bad. In addition, he also repaired the roads and extended the high way and gave the people a public health service. However America banned cockfighting and abolished the government lottery.**

"I still hate you… Iditota Americana!" She cried.

"Well the people seem pretty happy with the new changes. With a health system people can get healthier and recover from illness. Besides, the economy seems to be improving." America said.

"Well the children seem happier now that they can spend time with their friends and learn new things at school…" Puerto Rico had to look on the bright side. "I guess you do have a point about tat health care thing… I still think you're a puta and a big bully though…"

**Disaster struck for our cute little latina in Auguest of 1899 when the storms that ravaged the area caused floods and famine. 3,400 were killed for multiple reasons and many were left without food, shelter or money. Puerto Rico made a lot of money off of coffee and sugar plantations and since those were destroyed, she was left broke to deal with the chaos…**

"Ai caramba… What am I going to do?" She asked, trying to gather the children in one place. "All of America's hard work went to waste, everything's ruined now…" She sighed, handing out drinking water and snacks.

"Hey Porto, you okay?" America appeared, looking at what was left of the town.

"Idiota, my land is in shambles and everyone's poor!" She shouted.

"Don't worry Porto, we're still a team, right?" He asked.

"Si… No soy estúpido, sin embargo, voy a conseguir mi libertad de nuevo ..." She uttered, thinking about how she could get back at America. Luckily he didn't know much Spanish…

**Because things went sour for her, military power in Porto Rico (she has this name until 1932 when she changes it back to the name Spain gives her, just incase you were wondering…) was short lived. In 1900 the Foraker act (a.k.a. the Organic Act of 1900) enacted a civil government and commerce for both the island and the United States. America improved his relationship with "Porto" a lot in the 20****th**** century, allowing Puerto Ricans to be apart of the legistature. He improved her educational system combining English and Spanish classes because both languages were used on the island. Aw… America is starting to like her…**

"I wonder… America's been really nice to me lately… He even got me some new clothes and a years worth of rice!" Porto Rico thought, walking through her town, now repaired and in better shape. "Hey Americana!"

"Oh, hey Porto!" He ran to her. "So, are things going well?"

"Si, all the children are really happy again. Thanks for helping me. Even the grown-ups enjoy their new freedoms and rights." She said. "If you'd like, I'll make aros con poyo for dinner."

"Allright, chicken and rice!" America shouted, fallowing her home. "I really appreciate you cooking Porto. Aside from the heat, the agriculture and all the boats at the port, this really is a nice place we have."

"Eh?" She asked, boiling the water for the rice. "We? Estamos casados o algo así? "

"Well…" America tried to think of what she was saying, having learned some Spanish. "We have been together for a while now, I guess I wouldn't mind getting married one day…"

"Usted intendie Espanol?" She shouted in shock that he understood. She sighed, not wanting to bother. "Ai caramba…"

**Porto Rico ran into trouble again when ****Federico Degetau took office in 1901 and passed a law that only allowed any one person to own 500 acres of land.. The Foraker act was the framework for this law and most of the other laws created in this period, that includes the economy changing into a mono-cultured sugar based economy. America took advantage of the sugar on the island and using them on Wall Street and as a result, the farmers on the island started going bankrupt and had to resort to selling their stocks to the powerful American sugar companies.**

"That's it, America's causing trouble again and the children are getting sad… Not to mention that the farmers are angry. How the hell are they gonna make money when America's hogging all the sugar for himself?!" She shouted. "I'm going to go yell at him right now!"

"Oh, hey Porto. Guess what, I got a bunch of new stocks and the sugar market's going really great at my place." America showed up in a new suit. "I brought some snacks from my-." The box of cookies were slapped out of his hand.

"Listen here you puta, you better do something to make everyone happy again!" She ranted. "Everyone's been going broke since you came here!"

**As you can see… Almost as soon as America did something to help "Porto" and make her happy, he would screw up and make her angry… What a complicated relationship…**

**Oh Puerto Rico… With all these guys after you, you really are like my grandmother… With crazy men chasing after her affection! Spain, France, England and America? Well whoever you marry be careful Porto! Please rate and review! For Mexico's fans, I'll be making a fanfic for his character too entitled It's Me, Mexico! Very soon. Do stay tuned.**

**Translations:**

**No soy****estúpido****, sin embargo, ****voy a****conseguir mi****libertad****de nuevo ... – ****I'm not stupid, one day I'll have my freedom again**

**estamos ****casados**** o algo así? – the exact Spanish to English translation would be something like "Are were married or something like that?" but simply, it means "Are we married, or something?"**

**Usted intiende Espanol? – You understand/speak Spanish?**

**Puta – Whore. Spain calls Austria this somewhere in the World Series. Here's the quote:**

"**I finally have an underling, I finally have an underling. Wow, all this time I thought Austria was a puta but he's actually a pretty nice guy!"**

**So Spain was reffering to Austria as a whore too… Wonder if the people who wrote the script know that…**


	4. Nightmare

**Unfortuneately my computer can't write all the accents even when google translate is used to copy and paste the stuff. My latest reviewer left me a few tips that sort of offended me on some level… I was raised in America but my mom's side of the family is Puerto Rican (and I was raised by mommy and granny because dead beat dad's flee to Texas!)… They rarely ever said "conyo" when I was growing up, even now they barely say it… They said "Ai caramba" quite a lot and the reason why I wrote some of the Spanish words in a weird way was because 1. Google Translate and Microsoft Word have a love hate relationship and 2. I wrote the words how I would pronounce/write them… Spanish and Japanese sounds are somewhat similar… Another reason why Ay turned to Ai…**

**I got this idea for this chapter from Ame Fernandez Carriedo, an author who appreciated Puerto Rico just about as much as I do!**

**This chapter also takes a break from talking about Porto-chan's history and focuses a bit more on her character… And her relationship with a certain Englishman…**

"Everything's peaceful for the most part…" Puerto Rico tucked herself into bed. "I wonder if America's mad at me for what I did… I didn't mean to get so mad but conyo, he pisses me off sometimes…" She drifted to sleep…

"Where the hell am I?" In her dream (but without knowing or realizing it was a dream)

"It's nice to see you awake." England was in her kitchen making breakfast… Holy shit…

"What the hell are you doing here England?" Puerto Rico asked, walking to the stove to see what the hell the brit was cooking. It looked normal enough: pancakes with fruit. The bowl of strawberries was sitting on the stove. She was pissed. "AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LEAVING A GLASS BOWL ON THE HOT STOVE FOR!?" Immediately removing the bowl and placing it on the kitchen table, she wanted to beat the crap out of Britain.

"I just thought I'd help. After all, I thought it'd be nice to spend the day together."

"YOU TRIED TO INVADE ME TWICE!"

"Well you can take this as my apollogy… For today I'm going to cook all your meals so you have some free time to yourself."

"Free time, huh?" Puerto Rico stopped to think. "I have had some free time lately… But not as much as I'd like."

"Exactly."

"I've been so busy taking care of the neighborhood kids that I forget to have fun for myself every once in a while… It feels like forever since I've been fishing."

"You should eat something first. Breakfast is-."

"Burning."

"Bloody hell."

Puerto Rico made toast and scrambled eggs since Britain burned breakfast… The she went to the ports and began fishing. She sat there for hours, catchgin 2 buckets worth of fish. It'd been a long time since she'd last done so…

"Ever since Spain came over and colonized I've had a lot of things done for me… I haven't done that much by myself except for cooking…" She uttered to herself, walking back home with 2 buckets of fish. "I'm back."

"Just in time. I finished cleaning the house." Britain was sitting at the kitchen table reading a newspaper.

"You cleaned?" Puerto Rico looked around. Spotless… Britain sucked at cooking, but he was awesome at keeping things organized.

"Did you get those at the store?"

"I caught them myself!"

"Whoa…"

"I'm pretty good at fishing… But ever since Spain came along, he did almost everything for me. So I haven't fished in a while."

"For not having gone fishing for years, you've certainly got skill…" Britain put his paper down. "I'll take those if you like. We can have it for dinner. What do you say?"

"Si. Gracias!" Puerto Rico dropped the heavy buckets on the floor, going outside to feed the animals on her farm.

Feeding the animals and watering plants also reminded her of how much free time she had now. Spain raised her, doing almost all of the work. France as well when he allied with Spain against invading Britain. The Brit was being surprisingly kind and supportive, doing almost everything for the little Latina.

Before she realized it, it was already dinnertime. She put the animals back in the barn, going back home. She entered a room smelling like fish, smoke and some blood… What, blood?

"YOU IDIOTA, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN?! Inglés estúpido, estás loco?" She asked, breaking into Spanish.

"I didn't mean it! Besides, it's not my fault!"

"THEN WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE SMOKE!?"

Britain threw what looked like charcoal into the trash. "Well I'm sorry, I'm not accustomed to using your appliances!"

"Tue s muy loco!"

"SPEAK ENGLISH, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU!"

"That's the point you puta!"

"I don't understand why you get mad over everything!"

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN'T COOK! CONYO I FEEL LIKE CHOKING YOU!"

"Why did we agree to get married again?"

"What? Casados?" Puerto Rico looked down at her ring finger to discover a small silver ring.

She woke up screaming, dialing Spain's number.

"Hello?"

"Ayudame…"

"Puerto Rico? Ke pasa?"

"I had a nightmare that Britain and I were married and he couldn't cook!"

"That sounds terrible…"

"I know!"

"Are you okay? You need me to come over?"'

"I think I'm okay now… But thank you… Papa Espana…"

"Are you sure?"

"Si… I want to do things on my own from now on… Gracias."


End file.
